In today’s digital world, there is no shortage of relationship advice. One voice that has garnered attention is Orion Taraban, Psy.D., whose YouTube channel "Psych Hacks" advises men on navigating dating and relationships. While I understand that everyone has different perspectives and experiences, I’ve found some of his content concerning—particularly for viewers who may take it at face value without considering the broader implications. This post isn’t about bashing Taraban but rather about offering a more balanced view on why some of his advice may be problematic.
Personal Reflections
As someone who’s struggled with dating, I’m always interested in hearing different viewpoints, even when they don’t align with mine. I’ve watched several of Taraban’s videos, and while I appreciate hearing diverse perspectives, some of his advice, especially regarding women, feels deeply troubling. Statements like “men just want to get laid” or “women’s relationship value declines after the age of 29” can be triggering for those of us who don’t fit into these narrow stereotypes. I can confidently say that my value as a person and a potential partner has grown with age and emotional maturity. Yet, it’s not just the personal triggers that concern me; it’s the broader impact this kind of advice can have on both men and women navigating relationships.
The Dangers in Stereotyping Relationship Advice
One of the recurring themes in Taraban’s videos is his tendency to reduce complex human dynamics into simple, often stereotypical, frameworks. For example, he frequently advises men to avoid emotional engagement and suggests that women’s value is primarily tied to their youth and beauty. This oversimplification not only diminishes the richness of human relationships but also perpetuates harmful stereotypes that can affect both genders. While it may be true that some individuals approach relationships in a transactional way, assuming that this is the norm risks reinforcing a toxic dating culture. Men, too, deserve the opportunity to connect emotionally and build meaningful, fulfilling partnerships. Reducing relationships to "men want sex, women want commitment" strips away the nuance that makes relationships valuable and worth pursuing.
Emotional Intelligence in Relationships
What strikes me most about Taraban’s content is the absence of any discussion around emotional intelligence. In a world where emotional connection is key to lasting relationships, it’s surprising that there is little to no emphasis on the importance of empathy, understanding, and vulnerability. As someone who highly values emotional intelligence, I can’t help but feel that some of the advice he gives is counterproductive. Telling men to ignore or avoid emotions doesn’t help build healthy relationships; it can lead to more frustration and disconnection. In my own experiences, the behaviors Taraban encourages often make me want to end relationships. If someone approaches a relationship in a transactional way—without caring about my emotional needs—I know it won’t work. Healthy relationships are a two-way street where people’s emotional and spiritual needs are valued.
Harmful Messages to Women
The idea that women’s "relationship value" diminishes after 29 is another deeply concerning message. This kind of rhetoric not only fuels insecurity among women but also reinforces ageist and sexist ideas that are simply not true. Women of all ages have value beyond their physical appearance or ability to have children. As we age, we grow, evolve, and become more emotionally intelligent, yet this message tells women that their worth diminishes yearly. It’s damaging, not just for women but for men as well, who may end up holding limiting and unrealistic expectations for their partners. At 46, I know firsthand that I am more emotionally secure and capable of healthy relationships than in my 20s. Emotional depth and maturity make relationships last—not superficial metrics like age or appearance.
Critical Thinking Is Key
My intention here is not to bash Orion Taraban or his followers but to encourage critical thinking when consuming this content. Not all advice is one-size-fits-all, and it’s essential to consider the nuances of your relationship values and needs. While some of Taraban’s content may resonate with certain individuals, it’s important to recognize that advice based on stereotypes or transactional views of relationships might not lead to the meaningful connections many seek.
Ultimately, the relationships we build should reflect what we truly value: emotional intimacy, respect, trust, and shared goals. While I’ll continue seeking diverse perspectives, I’ve learned that not all advice should be taken to heart, especially when it feels off or unkind. I encourage anyone watching content like Taraban’s to ask themselves: Does this advice align with my values? Will it lead me toward the kind of relationships I want? If the answer is no, it’s okay to walk away and seek guidance that resonates more with the kind of love and partnership you truly deserve. Disclaimer: Journaling is a powerful tool to support your healing process. The CBT exercises in Journals to Healing journals are intended to help you analyze and reframe your thoughts as part of a personal growth journey. However, these journals do not replace therapy or professional help. If you are experiencing intense emotions or feelings beyond your control, please seek professional assistance. Resources such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988) and Crisis Text Line (Text HOME to 741741) are available 24/7 for support. Remember, reaching out for help is a strength, and healing is a process.
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