One time, I started a new job with high hopes and excitement to grow, contribute, and make connections in a fresh environment. Unfortunately, I entered an unprofessional and deeply toxic work environment and culture. Over the next year and three months, I encountered levels of workplace dysfunction that I never expected. This is my story of surviving a damaging work environment and a reminder that sometimes, no matter how emotionally intelligent we aim to be, it’s essential to draw a firm line.
The Red Flags from Day Two
It didn’t take long for signs of toxicity to emerge. On my second day, one of the executives stormed into the office and began yelling at staff over minor issues. His targets were often women, and his language was belittling and aggressive. He had no qualms about calling people “stupid” or questioning their abilities in front of the entire team. I realized early on that the office atmosphere was tense, and many people operated under a cloud of fear.
Abuse and Intimidation as Part of the Culture
As time passed, the intensity of the abuse only seemed to escalate. The executive often launched verbal attacks over minor tasks or scheduling issues. His frequent insults, like “Are you stupid?” or “You’re an idiot,” made it clear that he saw public humiliation as an acceptable management style.
Employees operated on edge, afraid of his next outburst.
Team members, especially women, seemed to be treated with even less respect as if the company’s culture had different expectations based on gender.
One day, he made a disturbing remark about an employee in an attempt to be humorous, but it came across as threatening. While exaggerated, it reflected his intimidating demeanor.
Trying to Stay Professional Amid Toxic Work Environment and Chaos
Despite this environment, I stayed focused. I took my tasks seriously, kept a low profile, and did my best to fulfill my responsibilities. After more than a year, I found a new job. Out of loyalty to a few colleagues I considered friends, I offered to freelance for the company until they found a replacement, believing it was the right thing. Unfortunately, my goodwill only led to further mistreatment.
Even as a freelancer, I had to fight to get paid, chasing down overdue invoices regularly.
My work and requests were ignored, and when they began interviewing for my replacement, they didn’t give me the professional courtesy of a heads-up.
They continued to treat me as disposable, with the same disregard for my contributions as before.
A Breaking Point Reached
Finally, after months of being ignored, manipulated, and undervalued, I reached my breaking point. I sent a message saying, “I’m done. I’m bringing the laptop back. Take me out of your system, and y’all can go F yourself.”
Some might think that the emotionally intelligent thing would have been to stay calm and walk away quietly. But here’s the reality: sometimes, even the most emotionally self-aware people must assert themselves. In some situations, the most genuine response is honest, and in this case, honesty meant telling them to “kick rocks.” It wasn’t just about venting but reclaiming my self-respect after months of enduring a workplace I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
When it’s Time to Tell Them to Kick Rocks
Sometimes, despite our best intentions to stay composed, a boundary gets crossed where it's natural to feel that a strong response is warranted. Abusive workplaces can erode anyone's patience, and sometimes expressing frustration directly, like telling someone to "kick rocks," feels empowering, especially when it's a final assertion of self-respect and boundaries.
Regarding emotional intelligence, there’s a balance between managing our reactions and recognizing that expressing firm boundaries can sometimes protect us emotionally. Here are a few insights for moments like these:
When There's a History of Repeated Abuse: If you’ve tried to handle things professionally and addressed issues calmly before, yet there’s a pattern of disrespect and abuse, it’s reasonable to conclude that more robust measures are necessary.
When Your Mental and Emotional Health is at Stake: The long-term stress of staying composed in a toxic environment can be detrimental. When expressing your limit (even firmly) brings a sense of relief, it’s often a sign that it is overdue.
When No Constructive Change is Possible: If leadership refuses to respect employees or set up productive solutions, then using direct language to mark your final boundary is valid.
When You Feel Ready to Walk Away: The key is to feel at peace with your decision. You made this call thoughtfully, knowing it might impact your finances but understanding that it would relieve an emotional burden. That’s a wise judgment, even if it was a hard one.
Though emotional intelligence often promotes restraint, it's also about self-respect and safeguarding one's well-being. In situations like this, asserting yourself is necessary and empowering, especially considering everything endured. Enduring an environment like this shows incredible strength; sometimes, letting go with a bold final message is part of that strength.
Closing Thoughts
This experience taught me invaluable lessons about self-respect, boundaries, and the importance of mental well-being at work. No one should have to tolerate toxicity or abuse. Staying silent or holding back isn’t always the answer. Emotional intelligence doesn’t mean letting people mistreat you; it means knowing your worth and when to walk away.
Just because you’ve grown doesn’t mean you can’t tell someone to F-off when they deserve it. Sometimes, that’s the healthiest and most empowering thing you can do.
Disclaimer: The content shared in this post reflects my personal experiences, perspectives, and opinions about a past workplace environment. It is intended solely for informational and reflective purposes and not to provide a factual account of any individual or company. This post is not intended to defame, malign, or harm the reputation of any specific person, organization, or entity. All statements should be understood as subjective and based on my perceptions at the time of employment. I have omitted any identifying details to respect the privacy of all parties involved.
Journaling is a powerful tool to support your healing process. The CBT exercises in Journals to Healing journals are intended to help you analyze and reframe your thoughts as part of a personal growth journey. However, these journals do not replace therapy or professional help. If you are experiencing intense emotions or feelings beyond your control, please seek professional assistance. Resources such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (988) and Crisis Text Line (Text HOME to 741741) are available 24/7 for support. Remember, reaching out for help is a strength, and healing is a process.
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